TV

If ‘Full House’ spinoff came true: A fantasy cast

Rumors swirled this week that beloved ’90s show “Full House” might be returning to TV screens with a new spinoff. Unfortunately, or fortunately if you’re cold and soulless, these rumors are not true. But while we’re on the topic, isn’t it fun to think about who would play each character 20 years later? Candace Bure (DJ Tanner) and Jodie Sweetin (Stephanie Tanner) had been rumored to have signed on to a reunion, but that was according to the hoax article originally posted by ScreenRant.com. Other than them, we were led to believe no other “Full House” originals had thrown hats in the ring. So here are our fantasy picks.

1. Tom Bergeron as Danny Tanner
Massachusetts-bred TV personality Tom Bergeron took over for Bob Saget as host of the always hilarious "America's Funniest Home Videos," so wouldn't it be fitting that he step into the shoes of world's greatest dad Danny Tanner? It may seem like a poor fit because Bergeron doesn't quite have the acting experience, but then again, someone somewhere thought it would be a good idea for Bob Saget to originally play this role so....
2. Mario Treadway as Uncle Joey
Again, the acting chops may not be there, but the relevancy is. Dave Coulier, the original Uncle Joey, was the man who influenced Alanis Morissette's classic "You Oughta Know" (and most of her "Jagged Little Pill" breakthrough album). Morrissette and Coulier broke up many moons ago, but now Boston native and rapper Mario Treadway is her main squeeze. Hopefully he can do a good Popeye.
3. Rob Lowe as Uncle Jesse
John Stamos doesn't need to be replaced, let's make that clear. The man is a sun-bronzed Greek god and has somehow remained in the public eye. That said, Rob Lowe has followed a similar path of good looks that last and he may just have some free time now that he is leaving "Parks & Recreation."
4. Elizabeth Olsen as Michelle Tanner
When Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen started on "Full House" in 1987, their younger sister Elizabeth hadn't even been born. Can she act? You got it, dude. Elizabeth gained attention for her role in "Martha Marcy May Marlene" and will be in the next "Godzilla" and chapter of "The Avengers" next year.
5. Juile Bowen as Aunt Becky
No real rhyme or reason to this one other than "Modern Family" star Julie Bowen is the only other TV mom to look as good now as Lori Loughlin still does.
6. Dylan and Cole Sprouse as Nicky and Alex Katsopolis
Jesse and Becky's blonde-haired twin boys go to the only other famous blonde-haired twin boys that happen to be of comparable age: Dylan and Cole Sprouse of "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody" and "Big Daddy."
7. Kristen Wiig as Kimmy Gibbler
D.J.'s best friend Kimmy was pretty terrible in the humor department, so why not cast an actress who is actually good for a few laughs?
8. Jonathan Taylor Thomas as Steve Hale
Resurrecting a '90s heartthrob would be the best course for the role of Steve. Sitcom hunk Jonathan Taylor Thomas from "Home Improvement" seems like a solid option. It's about time that guy came back onto the scene.
9. Donald Glover as Teddy
"Full House" producers definitely didn't get the most out of Taj Mowry when they cast him as Michelle's best friend. The character was always in the background and played second fiddle to Michelle. Glover could bring some humor, and maybe even some hip-hop, to an otherwise unremarkable character.
10. Clay Aiken as Derek
When Derek sings "Yankee Doodle" in that one episode, there's no way he doesn't show signs of a young Clay Aiken.
11. Johnny Knoxville as Aaron
Michelle's classmate Aaron was always kind of a shithead but was good for a few laughs at Bob Saget's expense. He could actually be a bit witty, too. Seems like a good role for Mr. "Jackass."
12. Solange as Denise
Denise was Michele's good friend that always seemed trendy and a whole lot cooler than Michelle or any other elementary school-er, for that matter. She could also dance up a storm to the "Ranger Joe" theme song. Beyonce's sister's musical prowess, but more so her overall coolness, would be a good fit.
13. Miley Cyrus as Gia
Good-girl-gone-badass Gia was the girl at school that your mother warned you about. Miley Cyrus is the pop icon that everybody worries about.
14. Howie Dorough as Viper
The only person who can play a washed-up rocker with long curly hair is a washed-up sorta rocker with long curly hair. Howie Dorough of the Backstreet Boys wasn't as much of a bad boy, but there's definitely a resemblance.

Posted to BDCWire, Ridiculous, TV