Ridiculous

Reddit AMA: What Would Your Neighborhood Ask Mayor Walsh?

As many of you have likely heard, Mayor Walsh is taking to Reddit today at 2:30 p.m. to answer your questions as part of the site’s signature Ask Me Anything (AMA) series. It’s likely that most will flock to the message boards with a bunch of loaded political topics (so not important), but we’re more interested in things like what he’d tell the city in the event of a Sharknado disaster or whose combover (other than his own) he admires the most.

That got us thinking that, with each neighborhood in Boston, there are likely varying opinions and different curiosities. What would each part of Boston ask if it had one question for Marty? Here is what we chose, based on what’s truly important.

Brighton
Where can you get some decent slacks around here? I'd go to Newbury St., but I don't wanna drive through Allston...
North End
Marry/f(ondle)/kill (must pick one for each): Mike’s Pastry, Bova’s Bakery, my Nana Valentina’s Sicilian recipe cannoli pie. And don’t say nothin’ disrespectful about Nana Valentina, she’s a sweet lady.
Roslindale
Sure are a lot of old people who live here, don't you think?
South Boston
How much ya bench? More than Menino? I bet Menino is a stud in the weight room. You probably do CrossFit, you Dot Town pansy.
West Roxbury
Um, would it be cool if we changed our name to something other than “Roxbury”? It’s really torpedoing with our property values.
Allston
Would you rather fight one slum lord-sized cockroach or 1,000 cockroach-sized slum lords?
Back Bay
You can only eat one food for the rest of your life, what do you choose – lobster-stuffed filet mignon or roasted boar over passion fruit risotto? THAT MEANS NO FOIE GRAS!!
Dorchester
Hey, didn’t I see you at McConnell Park last Thursday? I was the guy taking a leak in the harbor LOL don’t tell Ed Davis.
Fenway/Kenmore
The Sox are a frickin’ joke this season, Marty. Clay Buchholz is a bum. If you could choose any historical figure (living or dead) to come in and kick his ass, who would you pick?
Jamaica Plain
Who is your favorite professional hacky sack juggler?
Mattapan
Let's get real, have you ever gone here in your entire life?
Beacon Hill
What exactly is a "Wegman's"? Is it like a Whole Foods for poor people?